crestfallenfor | Aefenglom Inbox

[A breath catches in Dimitri's chest when Sylvain smiles. It's relieving, but his taut muscles - coiled fists and set jaw - do not unwind. He'd come ready for rejection. Anger.

And it's difficult to allow himsef anything else.

Still, Dimitri enters, and sits carefully on a somewhat flimsy wooden stool near Sylvain's bed. He maintains his distance, leaning forward to set a small wrapped parcel wordlessly on the bedside table.

(Some sweets, selection composed solely of recommendations from the pasteur.)

Hands folded carefully in his lap, Dimitri does his best to make his large frame as unimposing as possible.]

How is your recovery progressing?

[Maybe he should reject him. Yell at him. Send him out. It was recklessness that got them into this situation, after all, and the impulse to remind Dimitri that he'd warned him lingered in the back of his mind.

But that wouldn't help, right now. Maybe later - in weeks, months, time, when they were capable of laughing about it and he wasn't still stuck in bed (albeit only with the severe stare of a nurse every time he tried to leave) he might tease him about it. When wound had turned to scar, and when healing even began to make those fade.

Not now, when his friend is too busy trying to make himself look as small as possible, when he's busy trying to not take too much note of how much he's changed even since he'd seen him last.]

Well enough that I would have sent myself home a week or so ago.

[And, well, he laughs. Tries to make Dimitri relax, even just a bit.]

Are you well?

[Syvaim is a reckless man, that much Dimitri knows. So he takes little comfort in his friend's self-appraisal of his well being. The nurses would know best.

He tries to smile when Sylvain laughs, but Dimitri can feel how transparent his expression appears.

And it quickly drops from his face.] I have been... managing. I suppose. That night was an isolated episode.

[So far.] Though I must apologise. I hurt you quite gravely, and I haven't even the decency to remember-

I'm sorry.

Edited 2020-08-31 18:13 (UTC)

I'm glad.

[Genuinely so - that the night was isolated, that whatever happened before or after their encounter could be compartmentalized away to just that one night eventually, should Dimitri find himself able to do so, that he doesn't have even more guilt on his shoulders than he already, clearly does.

But... it was only isolated so far. There was no telling how long he'd keep his renewed self-awareness. Memory of the event or not.]

Hey, better me than someone else. [And better no one than him, but so it goes.] I'm not mad, Dimitri, don't worry... And don't tell me I should be.

[Sylvain hadn't been the only one... Dimitri stills, his fingers frigid and clammy as he recalls each name, each person who had once perhaps trusted him.

And now all he has is Sylvain's good humor, and several more apologies caught in his throat for everyone else.]

I won't.

But... I will understand if you're no longer interested in a bond with me.

You have done enough for my sake...

[Several apologies that can be said in time, either in person or through a perhaps more eloquent letter. Sylvain isn't concerned with them, though, callous though it might be. His concern is with Dimitri.

Dimitri who, for once, seems to have considered his offer with the gravity he should have on the day he arrived.]

I've never been more interested, you know.

[So it doesn't happen again. So no one else gets hurt. So his friend doesn't have to repeat this same suffering and guilt over and over.]

Are you interested, now?

It would be for the best. [Resolute, immediate - Dimitri leans forward and his hands shift. As if to reach out, but he thinks better of it. Other than that small betrayal of muscle, there's nothing of the eagerness he'd approached Sylvain with before.

No coy shyness when seeking companionship. No awkward fumbling around his primal thoughts and urges.

Simple determination.] And I would be in your debt, should you accept.

[Sylvain has done so much for him already, and still he asks for more. He holds eye contact because that is the severity of their proposition, but he wants nothing more than to look away.

Once they do this, he'll never be able to pull away again. A burden he's still trying to convince himself is Sylvain's, rather than his own.]

Of course I'll accept.

[As if there was any other option.

Dimitri leans forward and stops himself, but that shift still does not go unnoticed, so Sylvain reaches out in turn, with his uninjured arm, gestures that Dimitri should allow himself to scoot closer, or lean in, if he wants.

They'll have to get used to casual affection if this is going to work, anyway...

Though from Dimitri's prior coy shyness, he has a feeling that that won't be as much of a problem once he's over his injuries.]

If you think you can handle me, that is.

[A wink, that signature lopsided smile of his. Teasing, to cover his own apprehensions.

But Dimitri has already seen a slice of his past. At least the reality of... him... won't be as much of a surprise as it could be.]

Aefenglom Inbox

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject